Midnight Musings

The clock that stares at me every time I move my cursor to the bottom of the screen now reads 11:45. If I was smart, I would be in bed. I can. Mom said I can't sleep in (that being past nine.) Yet, despite all wisdom and counsel, I sit here, chatting with a friend in Singapore and writing this post.

Yes, I realize it's been almost four months since I last posted. I'll come on here to post, but then my muse will flee and I will be left staring at a blank screen. And then closing the tab and moving on to something else.

But I digress. The faithful among you didn't come to hear me ramble. If you wanted that, you could just chat with me for awhile over Google Talk or MSN. Provided I'm not feeling lazy that day and have decided to log on.

My life recently can be characterized by one simple phrase: Taking it all in stride.

For instance. We've been trying to sell out house and move back to California. The hope had been that we would be out our personal rain forest and back into the sun by mid July. Which turned into late July. Early August. Mid August. And now the deadline is the beginning of school. A week from today. It makes things difficult, not knowing. We don't know whether to buy this or that. To take a vacation. Sign up for more classes. Heck, I don't even know if I should be excited about a school year here or in California, yet. Though I think the worst side effect is the fact that our house has to be spotless every time we leave. And as we've had an extremely busy schedule, neither Mom nor I have felt like making a proper breakfast, because of the dishes.

I am so sick of cereal and protein shakes, you have no idea.

It's a real lesson in patience. I thought I was easy going before. Now... I don't have a choice. Complaining won't help any. All I can do it kick back and hold a Tevye-style conversation with God. See here:

Me: "God, it'd be kinda nice to let us in on the plan once in a while, you know? So we can eat. Get excited. Know if I'll be able to go to my cousin's sweet sixteen, or the other's wedding?"
God: "Wait and see."
Me: "I know. You've said. Not even a hint? A teeny tiny one? A date, maybe?"
God: *chuckles* "Wait and see."

What else can I do, but kick back and wait and see.

Still, God. Just a hint?

But this is what life is about. Waiting to see what God throws at us next. He's an author, so I can understand it. We're his characters. He knows our personalities, what we can and will do, but he doesn't force us into a mold. Instead, he tosses villains and obstacles at us so we can act out this story called life.

If this doesn't make sense... Sue me. Though I depleted my bank account on books, so I don't know how much good that will do you.

My point here is --did I even have one?-- that it's a waiting game. Our hands are tied. Nothing we can do will make the future come any sooner.

Why worry about tomorrow? If God, who created something as amazingly complex as the human body, who cares for the sparrows and dresses Creation in such marvelous beauty cares for even the least of his works, we can be certain he will do the same and more for us. His kids.

Matthew 6, right there.

I should go to bed before I tire the rest of you out. Next time, I promise a solid post. On a miracle we know as life. It's been captivating me, lately.

Until then, though, my fellow inmates in the psychiatric ward of the world, adieu.